Plotting a Course Out of Redundancy

Loosing you job is never easy. I have been through it several times and the most important thing I have learned is no matter how much it hurts now it will get easier as you learn how to cope with it. And every time it happened I had a different set of emotions because each situation was different and had to be coped with in a different way. The emotions differed but there were many commonalities in how I dealt with it.

There are a lot of well-meaning people who say, “Oh I know how you feel”, ‘oh, you’ll get over it’ or ‘I understand how you feel’. Well unless you been through redundancy, restructuring, downsizing, or whatever the latest buzzword HR have for it, no one knows how you feel except you. So, with the best will in the world, don’t listen to them. Listen to yourself.

The biggest thing is the shock. Each morning you chose to get up and go to work. Suddenly, someone else is taking that choice away from you.

And you’ll probably think about all the times when you have been with the organisation you’ve felt valued. And now, all of a sudden, the situation had been violently reversed. You have been cast out, because you are surplus to the organisation’s requirements.

And if anyone uses that horrid phrase, ‘we will be losing you’ which infers that it’s your fault, remember, it is not your fault. It is the organisation that is making you redundant.

Losing your job is similar to a bereavement because that is what it is, it’s the grief of loss. The loss of a job and a life as you knew it. Often your feelings go through the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, sometimes all at once or it could be spaced out over months, even years. All this is totally normal - so don’t beat yourself up about whether you’re bouncing back fast enough, or if you should brush it off sooner. Loss and change don’t work like that.

Although life may seem very bleak, and the pressure of losing your job is exhausting, there are a few simple things you can do.

1. Press the pause button in your life, even if it’s just a few minutes or hours.

Many people jump on the nearest job search website and start trawling through, but what you need to do is to take stock of where you are. Don’t make any quick decisions, as you could end up in a bigger problem.

Take a few moments to decide what you really need to do. How much money do you need to pay your bills? When do you need to make a big decision on going back to work? What do you actually want to do next, as opposed to what you think you should do? Are you panicking because of the shock of the job loss? Take a minute to listen to yourself, because being made redundant is a great chance to reflect on questions you’re normally too busy for.

2. Another great next step is to work out exactly how much you actually need to pay the bare essentials, such as the mortgage, the bills, and basic living expenses. This helps you work out what your minimum needs are - and offers you the freedom to say, hey, actually I could do this fun role that pays less than my last role because it’s still enough to survive on…. So you give yourself options!

3. This whole situation is stressful. And all we know that stress can impact rational thinking. So be kind to yourself. Go for a walk and listen to the birds. Try eating a little more fruit and drinking more water so you are properly hydrated. And try not to make any decisions having had the odd glass of wine or beer. If you’ve got any big decisions to make, sleep on them first.

4. Another great tip is to try collapsing everything into a smaller time-frame and only make decision for the next one to two days. While you are trying to decide what to do, without somewhere to go, or do, life can feel aimless. Make a plan to do something every day, go for a walk, or meet a friend. It just gives your life structure.

5. Take stock of where your capabilities and what you would really like to do. Be proud of yourself and what you have done. Don’t let the organisation define who you are. When asked what they do in life, many people reply that they work for this or that organisation, which is probably why they feel so lost because they take their identity from the organisation. Instead of saying I work for the health service, try reframing it as, “I help people get better, and I’ve always been in the health area.”

The attitude of reframing what you do is the first step in the important step of assessing your capabilities, talents and skills. And being defined by you - not your job.

6. It might be you work in a sector which is losing jobs and none, or few are being created in the area where you live. I used to work in the Textile Industry in the UK, and when thousands of jobs rapidly disappeared, I experienced the unenviable positon of rapidly considering my options. Some of the questions I asked myself were: Should I move to another part of the country where there were more jobs? Should I re-train and transfer into another sector, such as a plumber of an electrician? Should I do some more study? Or, Could I turn my hobby, in my case dressmaking, into a business?

Depending on how old you are, you could be in the workplace for at least another 10, 15, or 20 years. Think what skills you have and how they could be used in different organisations. Such as if you are in sales, you understand the sales process, the ability to acquire product knowledge and have good communication skills. All these transferable skills could be used in different sectors. If you have always been the person who asks the difficult questions you would make a good investigator in the police, or as a journalist. Or, you may have been an actor which could make you great in a hotel dealing with people.

7. Remember, this whole experience can be very lonely and draining, emotionally and physically.

There’s one thing that’s frequently been found to help: to have someone you trust to talk things through with. I think of it as the ladder metaphor. You are an upright which is strong, but a ladder gets additional strength through the rungs, which makes connections with other uprights. Talking through the situation with your family, friends and trusted advisers will help. Don’t be afraid to tell people how vulnerable you feel, sharing how you feel is a sign of strength not weakness. In addition, talking through your plans helps clarify your ideas. It also reduces the risk of bottling up negative emotions which may add to your stress levels.

Finally, the situation may feel very bad, and it’s a tough one to deal with. But taking the small steps every day will help, and it will get better. So, good luck.